What is up, Buttercup?

December 8, 2011 § Leave a comment

Ohmyohmyohmy.  It’s so busy outside of these walls, and within, that it’s hard to know where to begin.  What’s new?

Bottle cap madness, as usual.  I need more bottle caps.  I need more time in the day.  I need a benefactor.

I’m in a band.  We play in the Cohen’s basement to practice.  I love playing music with Tara and Jason.

My niece’s hair got really long, it makes her look a lot older… like, 3.

But most importantly, I’m pretty sure I’m starting every day in exactly the wrong way.  The usual routine features a 6am wake-up call, early for lots but I think I can handle it.  I then snooze my cell phone, stay asleep until 6:30 if I’m lucky or 6:40 if I’m not, then run around the house tossing cat food in dishes, #1+#2ing, brushing my teeth (sometimes), grabbing food out of the fridge like a fiancée at a Sears grabs wedding dresses off the rack + finally making the mad dash to Westbrook, where I am usually 5 minutes late.


There’s so many things wrong with that I don’t know where to begin…

When I was little Dad woke up and every morning had a stretching/Qi Gong routine he would do.  I’d always wake up quietly to his little short bursts of breath and the sound of his knees and ankles popping as he knelt down and got up.  I’m not going to pretend to know anything about or have any patience for Qi Gong, but it does seem that some short, meditative period of time in the morning is probably beneficial.  A way to greet the day.  Something to look forward to that is more relaxing than sleep?  That’s hard to do.

I saw this guy on Congress St. playing a hang drum (pronounced ‘hung’) and that might be good wake-up music.  I could definitely use a stretch in the wee hours since my piriformis (butt) muscle is still a little tight, even after all the physical therapy.  It doesn’t hurt anymore, but it definitely could use some stretchin’.  Then I should probably be ready to feed the cats, pack food for the day, have a constitutional and dress myself properly before leaving the house.

I’ll let you know how it goes.


You Have to Draw the Line Somewhere

November 8, 2011 § Leave a comment

I pulled a crazy last night and attended A.C. Moore’s “Moonlight Madness,” purchased a meter-long receipt’s worth of beading supplies for my bottle caps, and then paid with a check, a coupon, and had a ‘points’ card.  The line was five people long behind me by the end of it, but the good news is they were all crazy coupon ladies with carts full of crap, too.

So tonight when we went to Hanny’s on Forest Ave. and the girl rang up our tangerines as ‘medium navel oranges’ (a $.38 difference, total) I managed not to say anything.  And even when I remember they have a ‘double your money back guarantee’ and I would’ve made $2.76 on their mistake I said nothing.  Because you’re only allowed a certainly amount of crazy before people stop talking to you.

Also – I work in Westbrook/South Portland in an industrial park by the airport.  In addition to this being totally terrifying, I also realized that when there are low-flying planes flying directly above me I have the same emotional/fight or flight response as when birds fly over me.  I legitimately think poo is going to fall on me.

It could happen.

In a Fog

October 23, 2011 § Leave a comment

I’ve been in a fog lately.

Having a hard time focusing on the positive, which is the normal M.O.  The negative is so much more appealing!  And funny.  Comedy counts for a lot the way I roll.

I think there is a paradigm shift bubbling up from under all the things that make up the fog.  They have to be there so they can be destroyed when the shift wants to reveal itself.  I’ve come to some conclusions lately, and here they are, disjointed and incomplete, which I hopefully will describe a little bit more in detail as soon as the weather clears:

-in recent years, there has been an emphasis on being a savvy consumer.  extreme couponing, etc.  I, myself, am guilty (although I do not have a garageful of deodorant.  my ONE deodorant is down to the stump.  anyways -)  I think everyone is missing the point.  Unless you’re a “Left Behind”-er, there’s no reason to stockpile for the apocalypse.  The key is to become an anti-consumer.  Re:  your grandmother, circa 1837.  Don’t shame her by buying all the Prilosec OTC at Walgreen’s just because you can.

our country is becoming useless.  More and more, jobs are being shipped off to other countries, manufacturing is being shopped out to places with cheap cheap labor.  Basically no one here knows how to do anything anymore.  Instead of just kinda hoping the product you’re buying is American-made, why don’t you actually check?  And if it isn’t, seek one out that is?  You know what’s cool?  Jiffy steamers (like, getting wrinkles out of clothes) are still made in the USA.  LL Bean boots are still manufactured in Maine.  At the minimum, at least buy second hand from any one of dozens of thrift stores in the Greater Portland (or wherever you are) area.  Those dollars stay here.

I don’t understand consequences.  I mean – I do.  But I don’t understand the more trivial ones like ‘what will happen if you don’t clean your room for six months’ and ‘what will happen if you don’t do the dishes for five days’ consequences.  I wasn’t trained to understand them.  I’d like to understand them better.

-You know what’s a good thing?  Not going on Facebook every twenty minutes.  I got stuck in the FB Vortex yesterday perpetually scrolling, not actually reading anything, for at least 10 minutes.  That’s 10 minutes I could’ve been learning about consequences or finding a Maine-grown alternative to coffee (is it possible??)


Paradigm shift… coming soon…

Growing Older

October 12, 2011 § 2 Comments

I turn 28 next week:  that’s not old, according to anyone I know who is even just 1 year older than me.  But it’s still older.

Descending from youth is way more fun than ascending to adulthood.  Why?  New mysteries.  One:  why do my knees hurt when I’m just sitting peacefully?  Two:  It appears my esophagus is aging less gracefully than the rest of my internal organs:  I can’t seem to lean over within two hours of dinner without puking a little.  It’s totally gross.

Next Monday the science experiment called ‘Audrey’ is turning its 28th year:  what new discoveries are in store for 2012?  Only time will tell.

Lorazepam Love Affair

October 9, 2011 § Leave a comment

The title above has nothing to do with anything, so don’t worry about me.  A friend reminded me of a whirlwind prescription I had back in 2007 doled out by a particularly pill-happy psychiatric nurse I was seeing about anxiety attacks.  About three months of steadily increasing use and a raised-eyebrow (but respectful) inquiry of “You’re looking kind of… thin?” from my mother dashed all my hopes at a trendy pill habit.  It took about two weeks to readjust, but by that time it was Spring and I was living in Maine again after 6 years in hell, or… what some people south of here call Boston.  Boston is for visiting, people, not for living in.

Another phrase that struck me today was ‘tenement seagull’ when I was describing the bevy of birds that flock on the roofs of houses outside our door.  The neighbors leave cooked rice for them on their yard.  “Waste not, want not – but I want not to scrape seagull crap off of my windshield four days in a row.”

I did so much today!


Socks! So pretty.

The socks will be on sale in my Etsy shop shortly, and are made to order.  The ankle-high house socks will be $29 and the double-height high top socks are $34.  Each sock is made to fit your exact shoe size!  I’m also hoping I can make as many pairs of these before Christmas so that I don’t have to buy anyone anything.  Bah Humbug!  😉


I love it when people put recipes on their blogs, especially when the food looks yummy.  These brownies are really yummy.  Here is the recipe:  take a box of brownie mix and follow the directions.  Then when you’re almost done just huck a bunch of Reese’s peanut butter chips in the mix and call it good.  I made mine in a teeny tiny muffin pan because it’s way cuter but maybe 10x as much work.  Ta-da!

I started a new pair of socks (the green yarn in the photograph above) and made brownies for when we go over to Brian and Tara’s (of the Rattlesnakes) house for a fire.  I also did a bunch of bottle cap work, watched three episodes of Carl Sagan’s Cosmos (studying up for my Halloween costume) and made chicken broth from straight chicken which is pretty damn delicious, if I do say so myself.  Jason went to that record sale and came back with Rolling Stones and Neil Young albums.  I love him.  I also did a bunch of dishes, took a shower for the first time in an embarrassing amount of days (hey!  Having a small business is like having a kid, y’know) and took photos of socks I’ve been meaning to take forever to put in my Etsy shop.

Amazingly, I have tomorrow off.

I love October.

Indecisive Moments #2

October 8, 2011 § Leave a comment

Spring Point Ledge Lighthouse at Sunrise

Work brought me to Spring Point at sunrise, that’s at the tip of South Portland just past SMCC where that lighthouse sits at the end of the rock jetty.  The brother of a friend’s wife was full of baby, and they wanted some pictures from this time in their life.  I love people who think photography is worth paying for.

Early, before 7am, I walked around the grounds while the sun was still red and low, blasting the eastern sky with light.

We talked and worked for an hour.

On my way home, on Broadway, an ambulance passed by but the morning air was so quiet I could hear the sirens from a half mile down the road.

On the road a way’s down was an opossum with its head completely smashed off, crows picking at it gleefully before traffic became too heavy.  They barely moved for me.  Etiquette is so extremely relative, especially across species.

Outside a little book shop, a man stood flanked by two bins of books.  He was in a black beret, was pleasantly plump, and stood with his feet shoulder width apart and had an open book in his right hand, held at his waist.  He was looking straight ahead and smiling at the ocean.

When I got home, all the birds were warming themselves on the power lines.

East Bayside Birds by Audrey Hotchkiss

The Day In

October 2, 2011 § Leave a comment

I woke up late.  A big disappointment, every weekend, when I sleep past 10.  I think, rationally, it’s totally reasonable.  But my expectation as superwoman in training is to hop out of bed at 8, even after a rousing good time until 2 am the night before, and accomplish all things laundry, dish, and chore related.

Mango Floss Feet

So instead of writing about today, which was pretty excellent but mostly took place in two rooms, I’ll write about last night.

I am surrounded by people with intimidating levels of talent.

We went to SPACE gallery to see the Sunset Hearts CD Release show, with Mango Floss and Kurt Baker opening for them.  After seeing Mango Floss, I learned that my friend Kate was doing a stand up routine (what??  awesome!) at Geno’s.  I fled up Congress St., paid the $5 cover, got there just in time for her set (and the peals of laughter it created) and then jetted back down to SPACE without missing a minute of Kurt Baker’s set.  Whoa.

Ability to produce music and laughter is a skill I regard highly.

I feel like that’s it for today.

Kate's Back, Doing Stand Up

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